The Furry Monkey

04 MARCH 2009
HOSPITAL – NOT FOR ME THIS TIME!

It’s not for me as I said – it’s for John this time.  You know he’s had problems with his legs for months now.  He is being treated in the Ulcer Clinic every week but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.  I think I told you all that I intervened (and John hated me for it and let me know by giving me the ‘silent treatment’ for a while).  I only did it for him though, to help get him referred so that his legs will finally have a chance of healing if there is someone in the ‘loop’ who knows (or might know) what it is and how to solve it.  It’s worrying for all of us and you never know with this old thing called the ‘human body’ do you?  It shocks and surprises you all the time so I’ve found.

He’s got to wait for more tests, ultrasounds, biopsy, bloods, hopefully they will find out how to solve this thing once and for all.

Anyway John has had some news from the hospital via snail mail (very much so!!!) and it turns out he has something called “Pyoderma Gangrenosum” which sounds (and looks even more) awful!!!  Apparently Pyoderma Gangrenosum is more common in Rheumatoid Arthritis patients.  John has had that since he was 21. 

Seriously it is not looking nice and he knows this.  At least he knows what it might be now, he still has to have a biopsy to confirm it but they are 99% sure it is this.  Also he has been told he has venous disease in his leg.  This is where the veins don’t work as well as they should.  So that is two things.

He has been bandaged up (three layer compression bandaging) – not as bad as my Lymphoedema bandaging, but similar.  He now has to have it dressed every five days and this will be arranged soon we hope.

It’s not good is it.  I did ask him if he’d now learnt his lesson and would get things sorted out quicker but all I got was “Oh so that makes you feel better does it, that you are right and so important and know everything” or words along those lines.  It’s not why I did it, but hey, if he wants to think that then go ahead.  He has some weird ideas sometimes but I’m not allowed to say that.  He’s right, he’s always right and I should know that!!!!

Seriously he has a go at me and I have to take it.  At least I know in my head what I mean and that is what is important to me.  I will never win and I know this.  I will always be wrong.  Are all brothers like this?

 

05 MARCH 2009
GP SURGERY – GUESS WHAT THIS TIME???

Well it won’t be any surprise to you to know that this is for the old Blood Pressure again.  It’s still not doing what it should do but with all that is going on – are you surprised?  I’m not that’s for sure!

Apart from everything medical there are other things going on.  It’s hard to say as a lot of people know about me and this website but suffice to say that if you’ve been friends with people for at least five years, would you think it strange that none of them contact you to see if you are OK for nearly three months with all this going on at the same time????  That’s definitely NOT what I call a friend or how one would behave.  As you know I lost my best friend last month and I’m finding it so hard to accept.  I’m sitting here now, with my eyes all blurry and can hardly see the screen (I don’t get tears, something from childhood – I could’ve had an operation but needles and eyes don’t mix in my book so I refused!).  I can’t talk about her without getting upset – it’s so difficult and I know that we all lose important people but there are lots of reasons why this is hard on me.  Some you know and some you don’t.

It's amazing isn't it. You think you know people and they truly care for you and your family and it turns out you're wrong.  It’s an odd scenario.  Some people are very complex and I suppose I always give people the benefit of the doubt – even when Mum and John told me ages ago (and we’re talking years not weeks here!) that I should give up but I didn’t.  Then I end up hurt.  Still life goes on and you have to pick yourself up and carry on.  I don’t want it to cloud my future friendships but it does affect you, no matter how much you try not to let it.  I know this is all a bit cryptic but it does help to write it all down.  This is my ‘counselling’ session and amazingly enough I do feel better when I’ve written it all down.  This is all pretty public, and as some people know me it can be a difficult decision to make as to whether to write exactly what is going on or leave some of it out.

When I got back a friend of mine had phoned and I called her back.  She sounded a bit fed up and asked if I wanted to go to the movies.  Woah.....of course I do.  I always say yes to the movies.  I wasn’t sure about the film she suggested...Slumdog Millionaire....but I thought I’d give it a go. 

After watching the film, I was surprised to find it quite good and although violent in places it was a good film.  So if you’ve not seen it yet, then give it a go.  Always try something you’ve not tried before or is not your ‘usual’ thing.  You might be surprised!

Now before I go I’d just like to say I read an interview with Wendy Richard at the weekend.  How lovely and dignified it was.  She said “I know I’m dying, but does everyone else need to know this?  There’s enough gloom in  the world without me”.  How understated and completely dignified is that?  I was very impressed.

As we all know someone else is in the press at the moment with cancer.  OK I know she’s doing it for the right reasons (her sons), but you can have overkill.  Not everyone wants to see this.  It’s hard enough when you have to go through it in your own life with friends and family, you don’t want reminders all the time. 

Don’t start flaming me, this is my opinion only OK.  I just think the quiet dignified way is a lot better than in your face.  Death is never good and to use it to sell papers or magazines is not nice.  Best to go quietly and with dignity.  It comes to us all in the end and this is a lovely way.  Don’t flame me OK.

 

06 march 2009
john's birthday...!

Yes, it's that time of year again. John's birthday. Amazing isn't it....on my birthday what happens...not even Mum wanted to go out with me, on his birthday time off is taken and we go off out. Now why can't they do that for my birthday? Luckily I have some good friends and we go out instead.

Anyway where did we go? IKEA! Yes IKEA. Who would've thought of going to IKEA for their birthday? Well it was good, we had loads of sit downs and even had a coffee and some traditional swedish cakes! Very nice!

 

07 march 2009
An outing......

A while back we went to a lovely Farm place in the wilds of Sussex and we decided to go again. John stayed in the car so it was just Mum and me and we had a little wander around the farm shop. A lovely place, bit expensive on some things but nice to have a treat every now and then sn't it. Due to the 'atmosphere' shall we say, we didn't even get to have a coffee. Not quite what I think of as a nice outing somewhere, but you have to take each day as it comes around here sometimes!

Also as it wasn't far away I went to a Craft Shop. Wasn't sure if it was even a retail place but as we were so near we went. Luckily we did as they had just won an award and were having a "10% off day" so Mum got me a couple of bits as well as me getting some in the sale.

I'm really enjoying making the cards again and it's taken my mind off so much grief I've been getting. I also know it's doing some good as it's for the Hospice and Marie Curie who helped my friend before she died.

I still hate this disease when you realise how many lovely people it takes. Why I'm still here I don't know but I am so let's make the most of it huh!

 

12 march 2009
a trip to the movies.....

Oh yes, another trip to the movies. My friend Carol and I love our trips to the movies. It provides some escapism for both of us. She's having a tough time too and it helps to get away from life for a while doesn't it.

What did we see? Young Victoria. We're really getting into our 'Hostorical' films now. If history had been this good when at school we'd paid more attention to it - LOL!

 

13 march 2009
at the doctors...again...!

Another GP visit. Both Mum and me this time. Mum's BP is coming down a bit, the drugs they put her on are working, slowly, but they are working which is something.

Also Mum had to have an X-Ray of her knee done. She's been in a lot of pain lately and it's been getting worse. So off we trundled to the hospital and had it done a week or so ago and now the results are in.

So what does he say? Well he said "It's the medial meniscus.....well basically the knee is b******d!!!". He's nowt but straight talking is our Doc! We prefer it that way. Basically it means that there is nothing to speak of knee wise. It's bone on bone and the only option he can see is a knee replacement. It all depends on Mum and what she decides, I've done the "Choose and Book" option to see the consultant and we'll have to wait to see what he says about it all. It sounds very similar to John's problems before he had his knee replaced......so an op could be on the cards for her.

My BP - well the Doc was really pleased and it seems stable at the moment after it's big blip session which is great news. I'm not keen on the drugs I take, but hey, if they work then I have to take them. Good for me though and if the Doc is pleased then so am I...!

 

15 march 2009
new technology in the house!

What is this you all say? New technology - that's expensive isn't it. Well yes, but not when your very good friend Carol gives you a 32" widescreen tv which they didn't want and is almost brand new!

Thanks Carol - it's great and you are a star. Our TV was John's old one before he got his new one so it's about 10 years old now. Still it was playing up and we were thinking of a new one when finances allowed - now we don't have to worry and have the latest technology!

Whoopeee something goes right in our household! About time huh!

 

16 march 2009
oh dear what have i done...?

You'll never guess what. I woke up this morning and decided that today was the day. Yes I was going to completely wipe my PC and install Vista. How radical is that?!?!? I know, I've heard all the scare stories but my friend got me the software and I've just not had a chance to install it until now.

I made sure I'd backed up all my documents and music and stuff. Then I just wiped it, just like that.

Now, as you can read this you must realise that either:

a) it worked

or

b) it didn't and I'm using a borrowed PC

So which do you think? Am I clever or...am I clever....?

Yes, well maybe not but I did manage to wipe my PC and install Vista! I'm in the process of uploading all my backup software now.

One thing I did forget though was that when I copied my Outlook and address book that the emails I had in the software where you just type a few letters of the address and it comes up. You click on it and don't have to remember it.

Well those ones didn't copy across so if anyone wants to contact me in case you were on that list then please do.

Yong - if you're reading this in Malaysia, please email me. I've tried emailing your work address and get a 'out of office reply' so would love to hear from you again.

Anyway else who thinks I've gone quiet. Please email me and I'll then add you to my address book so I don't lose you again.

I admit I was worried about doing this wiping and installing thing but I seem to have done it OK and am feeling quite chuffed!!!

Catching up on emails and web stuff now so please bear with me a short while then "Normal service will be resumed" and you won't be able to get rid of me....LOL!!

 

21 march 2009
oh no, another trip to the vet :-(

Poor Bertie. He's not well again and it's another trip to the vet. Poor little fella. He let me put him in the travel box so I know he's not well. I remember all the times when we've had to trap him in one room and try to get him out from under sofa or behind something he shouldn't be behind! Little toad.

There was a dog in the surgery and he wanted to look in Bert's cage and Bertie didn't like it one bit. He hissed and growled and I've not seen him do that before. Mind you this dog was lovely and soft, but oh so big. His name was Moose and he was about 60 kilos and only 5.5 months old...not fully grown yet! Yikes, I'd hate to have his food bill.

 

22 march 2009
mothers day

Happy Mothers Day to all Mothers out there! I got a card and some flowers from the cats, how sweet is that??? I didn't get anything last year, so this is nice. It only takes small things to make me happy, no grand gestures, just something nice and simple.

Of course, it is also sad that those who have lost mothers cannot celebrate, but only remember. I remember my Nan and how much I miss her. I miss her more each day and wish she was here to talk to. She listened so well to me when I used to go round her house and spend time with her.

Also Jade Goody died today. What an awful day to die on. I know we have no choice but it's not a good one is it. I know she made a big thing of her cancer in the media, but it was to make money for her boys.

The sad thing is, she is only 27 and died to this awful disease. So young. At the end of the day another young life is lost to cancer and there is nothing you can do when you have this crap disease and it takes over your body.

The only thing you can think of is, like my friend Lyn, she is out of pain and in a better place. Life for her family will never be the same but they can remember, like all of us, happy memories of that person.

Also I'd like to say that Bertie is a LOT better now. He's very good at writing cards (I know some of you may think this is daft but I think it's lovely. I care for both of the cats and love them too so why not let them show that love with the help of others!).

I know, I'm soft and soppy - that's why I get hurt sometimes, but rather that than hard faced and not care huh.

Diane - if you're reading this can you email me again as I lost your email addy in the changeover from XP to Vista. I miss your card making chat!!!

 

26 march 2009
lunch with lyn's mum, dad and 'auntie' sylvia

This was a lovely outing - I had lunch with my friends Mum and Dad and 'Auntie' Sylvia - then we went back to their house and had some coffee and cake. It was so strange without Lyn there and I kept expecting her to be in her chair - or to come into the room. Sadly, it's not going to happen and I think of you often Lyn.

It will be so strange not buying the silly little Easter pressies that I find for you - of course along with some gorgeous chocolate!

Your Mum gave me a folder that you'd kept of the things we used to send to each other about Bertie. It was so good to look back, and realise how daft we really were!

 

30 march 2009
doctors - nothing major

Back to the GP for Mum's BP and also for me. I'm being given some new tablets to try but have been warned they could put my BP up - brilliant - just as I'm getting it down, it's gonna go up again. I've to go back in a month and see if it's too high, if so the tablets will be taken away!